I guess this is actually called Winter Storm Draco? Trust a Malfoy to come in sounding all big and bad just when the world is supposedly ending and…give us the kind of snowstorm we used to have every other fucking week when I was a kid.

If you make fun of my Michigan accent I’ll fucking cut you. Transcript follows.

[shots of slythwolf’s back yard four to six inches deep in snow with more coming down]
slythwolf: “So this is what it looks like outside my house today. I just can’t get over these—these, uh…pine trees kind of slowly waving back and forth in the wind. But uh. This is what this winter storm looks like. I can’t remember what they named this one. I haven’t seen it called Snowpocalypse or Snowmageddon yet which is kind of impressive to me because the world is supposed to end tomorrow or whatever if you believe in a bunch of mystical racist bullshit that somebody made up based on melding two cultures that are both still there. Um. But so this is—this is what winter used to look like all the time when I was a kid. Um, there’s about four to six inches of snow currently on the ground, and they have closed school starting at noon because this is just too much to handle. Um, this is what it used to look like by, like, at least by late November or the beginning of December all the time when I was a kid and we had school; we didn’t get school closed for this. Um, but people say there’s no such thing as global warming, so I don’t know, um, what exactly that’s about, but. Anyway. I had to come out here with my camera because, as frozen as my hands are right now, I think this is fucking gorgeous, so I had to get some pictures and video of it.”